fact: the poseur in the bowler gets shot first

[slushfund]

M050715005

■ NEAL DARTS, LHASSA

■ AUDIO
■ VIDEO
■ E-MAIL
■ TEXT
■ ACTION

‶ time is money. make it fucking quick.

Comments

[blowfish]

do you like documentaries

[slushfund]

Yeah, they're hilarious and informative.

Shark Week is coming up in two months, if it is really May here.
July 5th.
That's an important date.

[blowfish]

hah! yes!

I once saw this show about a whale that ate a smaller whale and then a shark came around and ate the bigger whale
So cool

[slushfund]

No wonder they've survived Earth's shit for 420 million years.
Those guys will anything.
License plates and junk.

[blowfish]

Yeah totally
But I heard that shark attacks are pretty rare
On like you know people

[slushfund]

Only an idiot who deserved it would get attacked by a shark.

[slushfund]

Or a sacrifice.

[blowfish]

Sacrifice??? That doesn't happen

[slushfund]

Where do you think the chum is from?
I saw an eyeball in it, one time.
An inlander wouldn't understand...

[blowfish]

oh my god shut up
I'm not dumb enough to believe that you know

[slushfund]

I've never called you that.
I'm simply returning your shitty horror story!

[maybe he doesn't want you to go to bed either... not that he likes you or anything...]

[blowfish]

lol
k tell me more about the chum ritual sacrifice and make it scary

[♥]

1/2

[slushfund]

It's a bunch of marine biologists holed up on a big ass ship for months on end.
Some only see land for brief stops to refill the tank with gas and that's that.
Of course, there's always a mix of sea-farers who drive the chartered vessels while the nerds do their business in the ocean.

Sometimes, they can't go back to shore for weeks and weeks.

So what else are you supposed to do when your supply of bait runs low and you are expected to make a deadline for your doctumentary.
How could you possibly tell the incredibly world famous narrator you have no footage, because you ran out of chum and couldn't fish up anymore because of the dire lack of bait?
Late at night, after the decision is made, most of them will turn to the captain of the ship or the deckhands.
There are plenty of tools to do the job with.

Fishhooks.
Wire.
Camera gear.
Various heavy items such as oars and drink coolers.

Anything for the hungry sharks circling deep below, waiting for the inevitable human remains.

In the end, it's just the natural order of events out on the water.
When you are faced with strict film requirements such as great white shark breaches that happen in mere milliseconds, you get desperate; frightened.

[slushfund]

No one says no to Sir David Attenborough.

ATTACHMENT: 2SPOOKY.PNG

[blowfish]

[Okay, it starts out mildly creepy... and then it just is not.

Jesse scoffs at his screen as he scrolls down, eventually dropping his palm pilot so he can bury his face in his hands. How did he find an image like that?! Did he make it? Shoulders are shaking on quiet laughter from where he's laying in bed. He picks his phone back up...

Typing, typing...]

Fucking terrifying
I'll be seeing Attenborough's face in my dreams for the next week
Just before he throws me overboard for a late deadline

Kinda sounds like some people I used to work with now that you mention it

[slushfund]

[preens— but oh.

hiruma tries to keep things light.]

The people you used to work with would let a giant green bird hump the side of your head?
Ouch, get outta dodge.

[blowfish]

...what??

[someone has never seen the video.]

[slushfund]

[OH NO.]

LOL THAT'S THE FIRST THING WE'RE WATCHING TOMORROW.

[blowfish]

It's been forever since I had to resist searching for something on the internet...

[HE WANTS TO WATCH WITH YOU.]

[slushfund]

[..............]

You don't go looking for it, I want to show you.
Understand?????
It'll be much more funny.

[just to make sure.............]

If your laugh is fake, I will know.

[blowfish]

[ahaha...]

Shit... i'm typing it in
Something's loading
can't... can't stop myself.......

[slushfund]

... I can tell what you're doing.

[blowfish]

There's a shocker

but really how would you tell if I cheated? Now I'm curious

[slushfund]

I would take your word for it.
Other than that, you're especially easy for me to read.
Your real laugh is different.

1/2

[blowfish]

[...

]